Why, hello there kind stranger. It seems as though you have stumbled upon the blog of Nikki (also known as the blog of Babs). As you can see it mostly consists of pictures or phrases I deem interesting, random tangents, and pieces of my art that I wish to share. I do hope you enjoy your stay, and if you wish, please stop by again.
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So life hasn’t been half bad. I started filling up my vacation with lots of hanging out with friends, and my internships are beginning to start. And its been fun! Maybe summer vacation won’t be so bad.
I haven’t started my internship at the gallery yet, and I’m a little bit scared for it. It looks a little bit intimidating to be honest, but Ill try hard to get the hang of it. I hope I can handle it :|
I spent yesterday hanging out with frands in nyc. It was a lot of fun, and it made me realize how much I’ve missed them. BUHHHH
But I guess the most important thing to take away from this journal entry is that now that I’m keeping busy I think summer will be tolerable and maybe even a little nice. :)
I have been on summer vacation for 2 days and I’m already bored out of my mind. There are things for me to do, like unpack. I still haven’t done that. I just don’t want to. I don’t have much fun here, like I don’t do a lot. I barely did anything today. I need to do stuff, like clean and exercise and draw, but all I do is sit on the couch all day, because I’m unmotivated to do anything else. I really miss my friends. I miss Alec. I miss being around other people and having fun with other people. I miss Alec, but I’m scared Alec probably doesn’t miss me, and that part kind of sucks. Man, I hate summer.
But alas! There is still hope. I go in for my first day of work for one of my internships tomorrow. I’m working in an art non-profit organization, so yay, I’ll finally have something to do. And then that day will be over, and it’ll be one day closer till summer vacation is over.
I sound really sad and mopey and depressed, but that’s because I am really sad and mopey and depressed. I need better hobbies.
Another chapter is coming to a close.
I’m pretty much done with sophomore year of college, and I’m going home in two days. When I get home I’m immediately starting my two internships that I’ll be working for all of summer, so I’m going to be really busy. I also won’t get to see Alec anymore for four months pretty much. That part sucks. Today is our anniversary. Actually, tomorrow is our anniversary, but we’re celebrating it today for convenience sake, since we’re both spending all day tomorrow packing.
It’s sad. Having to go back home. Having to go back to a long distance relationship yet again. Knowing that I’ll be so busy this summer I won’t really have time to relax. But alas, this is life.
Alec and I are about to go into town to celebrate our anniversary. We’re probably going to eat and walk around a lot. :)
Good morning! I just woke up. I have to go to Photo class soon (my favorite class) and then go to the figure drawing studio for the rest of the day. It always takes so much effort to drag my ass to the figure drawing studio. But I have to go today because everything is due tomorrow.
I’m feeling okay this morning. I had a really draining day yesterday. Alec and I talked about heavy couple stuff for a long time and started crying. I found that this is a common occurrence with us. Talking about heavy stuff and then crying. Alec says its not healthy. It’s really not healthy. But we talked through some stuff yesterday and I think I know where we go from here (kind of?), And alas, I feel better this morning. I hope everything turns out alright though.
Finals is happening. In like, 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I have to go back home to New Jersey. I really do not want to do that. I do not want to go home. At least I have an internship I suppose. And my older sister is at home so I won’t be that bored. Anyway, I lucked out and scored an on-campus house next year with my friends Jesse, Zoe, Andrew, and Gracen. I get to go back a week early because I also luckily scored a position and President of the Arts and Crafts club at my school. (this is very cool for me by the way).
Anyway I hope Alec and I will be okay in the end.
Today is my last day of Spring Break. I actually really enjoyed my Spring Break! I barely spent any days staying at home doing nothing. I had really busy days and then came home to my friends and played league. I think that’s the key to having a not-so-shitty break. Keeping busy.
I applied to like 10 more jobs in NYC a few days ago and I haven’t gotten a call back from any of them. I did have an interview for an art non-profit though. I’m pretty terrified that I won’t get anything. I NEED SOMETHING. OH GOD I NEED SOMETHING
I watched the last episode of Young Justice today and I had a lot of problems with it. I wish they ended the series after the first season quite frankly, or even better, continued on the same track that they did with the first season. In retrospect, the new characters and time skip derailed what I liked most about the series.
But yeah break was good. My plan for today is to spend the whole day doing homework (oh god I have a lot), do some laundry, eat out with the family for dinner. I wonder how much homework I’ll get done? This certainly isn’t helping…
Stuff to do (in order);
Yeah no way in hell am I going to get all this done
If I’m lucky I’ll make it past number 2
also MY KORRA COSPLAY ARRIVED IN MY MAILBOX AT SCHOOL AND IM SO EXCITED TO PICK IT UP ON MONDAY
Spring break is a few hours away. I just spent the past 10+ hours writing an art history midterm. My good friend Jordan is proofreading it right now.
I’m not quite excited for spring break but it should be nice to see the family again. Goal for the break is to apply to at least 5 more jobs.
I can’t really detail it here but a person I’m close to is starting to deal with some really difficult things. Its been affecting me too. I find myself needing to indulge myself in a good cry a lot. But I know we’ll both be okay in the long run.
Second entry of sophomore year! LETS DO THIS
I’m currently studying for a midterm tomorrow. I’ve just started, and will probably be up late, but I’ll probably do fine on the midterm. Jordan is sitting next to me. Jordan is a dear friend and loves spending time with friends he likes, and I’m fortunate enough to be a friend he likes. He also likes spending time in my room, as a lot of people like to do. I think it’s because I’m generally a tolerable person and my room is very nice. It has a fluffy purple rug and I’ve been complimented on how “comfortable” my room is many times. I do love my single up here in college. It’s been the first room that I’ve ever completed had by myself and I’ve done it justice. It’s a very nice space if I do say so myself.
I’ve had a worry sitting in the back of my mind for the past 9 months or so much that has started to become lighter. It’s very relieving, not having it eat away at my consciousness. Especially since it had been for around 8 months. I still think I have a lot of thinking to do though before I can be completely happy with my actions and myself.
Life has been good up here. I do a lot of work. My days kind of go like so: Wake up to alarm, turn off alarm, fall back asleep. Alarm goes off again, turn it off again. Wake up. Look at clock, 20 minutes until class. Shower and throw on something acceptable. Come to class 5 minutes late. Get out of classes hours later. Do work. Go to dinner. Do more work. Crash at 3:30 at night.
That being said I have a lot of friends to help me through my days. The highlights of my day are dinner time and falling asleep with Alec. Dinner time is the best because it’s a good break between classes and doing homework. Also, all of my friends come to dinner—that usually consists of a group of around 30 people that I wouldn’t see otherwise since we’re all so busy at classes or doing homework. A bit ridiculous when we have to attach 5 tables together, but its very nice being able to see everyone’s happy faces and listen to choruses of our dumb jokes. Cuddling with Alec and falling asleep is fun because Alec is the best cuddler eva and me and him fit together just right and its always the perfect way to end my day hurhurhur
Alec and I have been doing splendidly. More splendidly than we ever have, in fact. But that’s coming from me. Things might not be much different for him but I’ve definitely been feeling something different towards him in a positive way.
On the art front I barely draw outside of my Figure Drawing class, but I think I’ve been producing some really nice stuff in there. I also am taking Beginning Photography and recently did a really exciting photoshoot in which I put paint all over my friends bodies glued pompom and feathers to them and made them fight to the death with prop weapons and took photos of them. The photos look really amazing, I’m really proud of them actually. When I’m done editing through them I’ll make sure to put them online.
Anyway in short my life had been very busy and moving quite fast. Spring break is coming up soon and that means that I only have a quarter of sophomore year left. It’s absolutely terrifying to think about. I love college and hate summer vacation and the fact that this year is coming to a close soon is depressing to think about. I try not to think about it.
But yes I should get back to studying yes.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written one of these. Every few days I tell myself that I should get around to writing my next entry but I’ve just been horribly putting it off. But today, I have no homework due tomorrow, (though I still have PLENTY of work to do—just nothing due tomorrow) so I figured I’d finally get around to this.
Sophomore year has been crazy. Nothing I didn’t expect, though. I knew it would be a handful. But it’s actually been a lot more crazy than I thought it would be. There’s been a whole lot of drama. Far too much drama. One mental breakdown. But amazing, absolutely amazing friends to help pick me back up. Shirtless cuddling sessions. Boyfriend cuddling sessions. Boyfriend. Good boyfriend. Worrying about relationship with boyfriend. Worrying about friends. Wondering what to do with friends. I don’t do enough work anymore. I procrastinate all the time. People are always in my room—its become the designated “hang out” arena for my group of friends. I love it most of the time and find it annoying part of the time.
I guess that sums up almost everything in a paragraph that isn’t tl;dr. If I had to describe it in one sentence, it would be that it’s a handful. Sometimes its a good handful and sometimes it’s a bad handful.
Two days left. Better start packing.
Yup, sophomore year starts in two days. I’m excited to be going back to school but I’m also horribly nervous. There’s bound to be lots of new amazing memories to be made, but my life tends to be a magnet for drama and I can’t help but feel like there might be plenty of that too.
Also, I’ve had a pretty shitty week. But not actually shitty, more like “first world problems” shitty. I have my period, which is great (mood swings! cramps! I didn’t know my acne could get any worse!). I also got this really, really horrible haircut. I told the lady at the salon to cut off 2 inches (I really just wanted a trim) and she ended up cutting off 5 inches of my beautiful, long, straight hair off (WHY!!!) and now I have shoulder length hair that kind of curls out at the bottom. It literally makes me look 3 years younger and even when my hair does grow out it will be wavy/kind of poofy since the lady chopped off too much of my permanently straightened hair. I mean I’ll deal. But yesterday morning I kind of had a hysterical sobbing fit about it which is silly because it’s really just hair, and I shouldnt care that much about what I look like, but I do, I really do, and I’ve always been weirdly hypersensitive about my hair (see: me in 4th grade when my mom made me chop off all my hair and I actually did that thing where I wore a bag over my head). To be honest I blame most of the hysterical sobbing fit on my period which has me mood swinging like crazy but who I am kidding I really am pissed off about my hair. I told myself that I’ll just straighten every day like I had to last year (sigh…) and that all will be well.
I’m going back to school on the last day that people are allowed to go back to school. I didn’t have a reason to go back earlier, and if you don’t have a good reason, the school doesn’t let you. All of my best friends have been there for a week already (Dan, Matt, Alec) and have been off having fun. Which is perfectly fine! You know, that’s good for them and stuff. But really, I’ve been quite lonely the past few days. I used to talk to them for hours on the phone/facebook/skype pretty much all the time for all of summer and I really haven’t heard much from any of them this past week (though I’ve gotten a text here and there). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like mad at them or anything! And they’re not doing anything bad etc. It’s really just me. Being lonely. LOL
And my last point of rantage (I’ll stop after this! I swear!) is that I literally wasted this entire summer. Didnt get a job, didnt get an internship, didnt even volunteer (which I could have done). I just did nothing every fucking day. And I guess that’s just ehhh adding onto my not-perfect mood, because I’m really kind of mad at myself for letting that happen. But I just have to learn for next year I suppose. I will get a job or internship or at least SOMETHING to do even if it mortherfcUFKCING KILLS ME
So I guess that’s it. Marvel at my first world problems. They’re really not that bad. I need to get packing today. Like I need to pack everything haha. LETS DO THIS
Also: for my birthday tomorrow (I’m turning 19) my little brother surprised me with an Arcade Sona skin for League of Legends. What a sweetheart. <3
Okay, adios, I promise to be in a better mood next time,
BONJOUR! I AM IN QUEBEC
INSERT FEEBLE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK FRENCH HURHURHUROUIOUIOUIHUEHUEHUE
So yeah. Im in Quebec with the family until Friday, which means no phone and no League of Legends (IMNOTADDICTED I SWEAR)
The hotel room we got is crazy. it has a fucking hot tub in the bathroom. A HOT TUB MAN
i havent been able to use it yet but i shall
after i get back from quebec i have ONE WEEK AND THEN SCHOOL STARTS
HAVING MY OWN ROOM!
DHALLLL MOTHERFUCKER I MISS GOOD FOOD
but also: waking up at 7 in the morning and taking my dreaded marketing course BUHHH
okay i guess thats it i suppose?
Today I thought about writing down all of the mistakes I’ve made in the past year on a sheet of paper. Just bullet pointed—all of the people I’ve hurt, bad decisions I’ve made, bad decisions I’m currently making. That kind of thing. I just….sjusithsufhosdufhosdjfosghisIF
i dont knNOOWWWW WHY SWIFDFUCKAFAASD
today wasnt so bad. gave alec a call, talked to matt, went for a walk. that kinda stuff. ill probably crawl onto league of legends in a bit because thats all i do know ARGH
I’ve been doing swell.
I spent the weekend hanging out with college friends (Payton Alec Caylin Matt) and it was incredibly nice seeing them. Very fun to be around etc etc
Holy fuck, summer is almost over. Where did all the months go?? Well I’m not complaining. I miss school so bad.
I’m hanging out with my old friend Grant today. We haven’t seen each other in…say…3 years? Woaaahh. I’m quite excited!
Anyway I’ve pretty much been hanging out with people/playing League of Legends/skyping people/watching Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood/reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao/drawing occaisonally. SCHOOLS JUST AROUND THE CORNER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
hi there! good morning! etc. so i spent the weekend at gracens lake house with gracen zoe and kelsey and we had a lot of fun. we listened to this new alternative rock station (101.9) ALL WEEKEND and it has the best music and now im listening to it on my laptop and yup good music
today is another day in which i do nothing. i am so fucking sick of this haha. probably just going to loaf around and do nothing but league all day
that and im just ugghhhh im feeling pretty blah for other reasons i guess. school is just around the corner though. just have to hang in there hang in there dont fuck anything up my dear
buhHHHHH READING YOUNG JUSTICE FANFICTION WEEEEE
Hmm I haven’t written one of these in a while!
I’m doing better.
I spent the weekend at Alec’s place. Spending time with him made me the happiest that I’d been in a while to be honest.
I’ve been spending my time reading a lot of books (Harry Potter, One Day, Lost at Sea, The Fault in Our Stars, Divergent) and playing League of Legends with friends. (I’ve gotten increasingly shitty in the past week to be honest. I die like 15 times a match and get no kills) Next week I’m going to be staying at Gracen’s lake house with Zoe and Kelsey for a few days and I’m really, really excited. After that, I have a month left of summer, and then it’s back to college, which I referred to as “home” the other day. It’s a good life, though I really need to start doing some volunteer work soon if I want to show anything for this summer. :P
Things I’d like to do today:
-walk into town
-finish drawing Alec, Matt, and Andrew as League of Legends characters
-watch Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
I guess that’s it? HAHA. Oh, my life.
Also, my friends and I are starting a kick-ass teenage superhero team. I think one of my favorite things is thinking up stories and characters and such so this makes me pretty happy and I’m getting kinda into it hehe. So far Dan, Alec, Andrew, and myself are on the team. We’ve all decided on powers already hUEHUEHUE. I personally think the coolest powers are a) what green lantern has (imagination powers? hot damn) and b) flying. But those just don’t fit my personality. I’m a very, very, physically weak person. I’m also not that smart (I mean, I’m smart enough, but I definitely can’t get away with having mental-oriented powers). That being said, I have quite the fiery/headstrong personality. SO I ended up deciding on being able to go into an Avatar state kind of thing. Like, I’m regular Nikki, and when a fight breaks out I can turn on my BURST STATE and get super super fucking strong and can destroy everything. I have mild control over my mind and body when in this state, but really not much. Kind of like I’m being controlled by this animalistic instinct to DESTROYYY but the real Nikki is still in there beneath that. The con is that when I’m in this state I’m also super super super vulnerable, more so than I already am. So to be honest my powers are kind of shitty, which I think would be fitting for me because I’m not really cut out to have awesome superpowers haha. My codename is something really plain, dumb and stereotypical like Burst and I spend the comic making jokes about how my name is plain dumb and stereotypical but it works so people use it and it’s stuck.
Also my mom bought me a dress yesterday. It’s a cute one. :D
so last night I skyped and played league with Alec and Dan until 4:00 in the morning and it really picked up my mood. They’re such cool kids/really fun to talk to/two of my favorite people etc etc :D
I’m seeing Alec tomorrow and have to do a bunch of stuff (clean room/do laundry/finally start my day ive literally done NOTHING today and it’s already 6 in the afternoon)